One of the biggest things new moms are dealing with today is figuring out how to maintain a good work-life balance. Sure, most mom’s dream of beautiful days with their lovely children when they’re young, playing and enjoying the little moments that will pass all to quickly and they want to be the “stay at home mom” that has it all together.
But what happens when that doesn’t work for you?
For one reason or another, a lot of mom’s are working full-time or part-time, even if it’s working from home, and learning how to navigate that is necessary not only for the sake of your family, but also for the sake of your sanity.
Mom’s Run Everything!
If you are a mom, I don’t need to tell you this, but in case there are any dads out there listening, moms run everything! There are about a billion things a day that you don’t even notice that your wife has done to make your life easier. From kids, to finances, to housework, to food, every aspect of the day has some stamp of mom on it. SIDE NOTE: Buy her some flowers and chocolate just because…trust me, she already earned them.
To the moms listening, we know we do a lot. We know it can get overwhelming, and it would be nice if someone picked up their clothes once in a while, but we do it day in and day out and honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Because although it drives us crazy sometimes, it’s our chaos to control and it makes us feel needed. Without us, our families would be lost…literally.
But when you try to add a job outside the home to that, you are flooded with even more to keep track of and added stress that can be really hard to let go of once you come home to your family.
Working Outside the Home
Like I said, tons of moms work outside the home for a variety of reasons. The biggest reason is probably financial. Not a lot of couples can afford to live off of one income. However, with the rising cost of childcare, it seems like the trend lately has been a shift toward moms staying home with the kids because daycare costs more than they would make anyway.
But sometimes the decision isn’t financial. Even if you can afford to not work and stay home with your kids, a lot of moms CHOOSE to work. Whether it’s because they have a professional career they don’t want to let go of, or they just like to be involved in something outside of the home.
My Experience
Personally, I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I knew eventually that was my goal and I wanted to make it work. I also didn’t have a great experience with daycare when I was a child. Nothing traumatic happened, I just hated it. So I was determined not to put my kids in daycare if I could help it.
With my first son, I had basically just started into a new job and it was going really well when I went on maternity leave. While on leave, I was actually offered a position at another location in the company and it was even more convenient, so after my 3 months off, I started back to work. My son was able to stay with family so I knew he was good and surprisingly, it was really nice to focus on things outside of changing diapers, bottles and spit up.
When I got pregnant with my second son, I realized that working full-time was not something I wanted to continue to do once he was born and I wanted to be with my boys. Plus, two babies under two seemed like a lot to put on my family members. So I became a full-time mommy a few months before my second was born with plans to work from home.
I quickly realized, especially having a new baby in the house, that working from home is a lot harder than it sounds. Why? Because EVERYTHING takes priority over work when it comes to babies. There are a lot of things that have to be dealt with immediately or they’re going to get a lot worse so you get interrupted A LOT.
And if you are fortunate enough to figure out how to get two babies to nap at the same time, the last thing you want to do is work, as things like sleeping, showering and eating become priorities.
Needless to say, after a few months, I knew for my own mental sake, I needed to do something outside of the house at least part-time. I knew I needed dedicated time for work and for being mommy, because when I was home, I felt like I should constantly be trying to work, but felt guilty for not reading books or playing with my kids when they wanted my attention. Now I work part-time and it has worked sooo much better for me. I love having dedicated time that the kids get to be with family and I can get what I need done and then, when I’m with them, I am full-on mommy mode and I can read and play as much as they want.
My biggest piece of advice is to dedicate time to work or your family. I am a multi-tasker at heart, but when you’re trying to do too many things at once, you don’t give 100% to anything and especially in these areas, that just doesn’t work.
Finding Your Balance Takes Some Consideration
There are a lot of factors to consider when figuring out what work-life balance will work for you and your family. Here are some basic things to consider:
- Your Personality Type – Some moms are perfectly content with staying home all day, every day. They thrive in the daily ins and outs of mommyhood and cherish every second they spend with their kids. And that’s great! I am by no means saying that you have to work outside your home. If staying at home works for you, more power to you! I applaud your efforts, because I know it’s not easy. But if you’re in extrovert, or someone who needs to interact with people and enjoys conversation and communicating, talking to two-year-olds 24/7 may not be your thing. And there’s nothing wrong with that either. The idea is to figure out what will work for you, based on how you’re wired.
- What’s Your Financial Situation? – Are you able to stay at home? Do you even have the option? Are there areas in your life where you can cut back or save if you want to stay at home? Who will take care of your kids if not you?
- How Old Are Your Children? – A lot of this decision depends on your children, too. There are situational needs to consider. For example, younger children may need you to be at home more, while older kids may do better with social interaction.
- Does Your Child Have Specific Needs? – It may go without saying that your children may require you to stay home if they have special needs, but don’t automatically assume you won’t be able to work outside the home. Evaluate every child individually to determine what works for them.
- How Flexible Is the Rest of Your Family? – Does your significant other have a really demanding job? Are they able to help you in the evening or off their work hours to take the kids and allow you to work or do something you you enjoy? Otherwise, trying to do too much may cause unnecessary tension between you.
Practice Makes Perfect – Find What Works For You
When it comes down to it, finding a good work-life balance is really about you and your family and what works best for you. If you know you can be a better mom staying at home with your kids, great! If you’re like me and you need to have something to think about outside of diapers and pee-ka-boo and that means that when you’re in your mommy role, you’re the best you, than perfect! What ever is going to make you the best parent you can be and create the best situation for you is what you need to do.
Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t doubt yourself or feel guilty because you see other moms who can do it all with no problem. You don’t know their situation or their struggles so focus on yourself and your family and tweak it until it becomes your perfect balance.
Do you have any tips for finding the perfect work-life balance? I’d love to hear them!
