HE’S FINALLY HERE! My second beautiful baby boy has arrived! After what seemed like a century of waiting over the last few weeks, our family has been blessed with a perfect, healthy, new addition!
So Now I’m “Experienced?”
As an “experienced mom” you would think that the whole hospital process would logically be smoother than the first time because by now, you should know what to expect and know how to do everything, PLUS remember everything that happened last time and how it all should go this time.
To that I say….HA!
Just because you’ve had a baby before, doesn’t mean you know anything about what is about to happen, except for maybe a general outline of the course of events and a rush of memories that you’ve suppressed since the last time around.
One thing about this hospital experience was completely clear…my chart must have been stamped with big, bold letters that said, “EXPERIENCED MOM!” Everyone from the nurses to the doctors made it completely clear that I was supposed to already know how to do this.
With my first son, the nurses and midwife I had were very hands-on. From labor to delivery to breastfeeding, there was hardly a moment they weren’t offering to help you with every step of the way, offering advice and tips to get you started on the right path. The hospital where I’ve delivered both of my sons really urges you to listen to your body and it will basically tell you how the whole process should go. From when you should go to the hospital to when to push to how to breastfeed, you’re body is designed to do this and will guide you…
Well guess what, no matter how natural of a process it is to give birth, at least for me, a play-by-play would have been appreciated. And we did take a birthing class, which prepares you to a degree, but there’s really no guideline like experience. Oh but then there’s the fun fact that your second or third or fourth pregnancies and deliveries can be completely different from your first or from each other! Each one can be it’s own beautiful, unique experience…LUCKY US!
Your experience may be different, but I would definitely be prepared to be in charge of your own labor and delivery process. The staff may offer suggestions, but I was really calling the shots the entire time. From how I wanted to labor to how quickly he was going to come, to the nurses trying to tell me to wait to push because he wasn’t quite ready…Let me tell you, when your body tells you to push, there ain’t nobody who’s going to tell you to stop! The midwife barely made it back into the room for him to arrive. Oops! Sorry, but I wasn’t prolonging that process any longer than I needed to!
Ask For Everything
I also noticed this time around that I wasn’t offered as many things as last time to make myself comfortable. I considered these among the “first-time mom” tips they usually offer.
For example, with my first son, I was offered different laboring tips, from using their hot tub (I know we’re very lucky to have one of those), to a birthing ball to different birthing positions and coached me through each one. This time, I felt a little bit like I was just trying to listen to my body and made it up as I went.
The point is, especially if you’ve delivered at that hospital before and you know what they can offer, ask for whatever you want. Don’t be timid about using different tools or resources they have just because no one offered it to you. Remember, this is your birthing process and you know what you need to get you through it the best way possible.
Don’t Be Afraid to Remind Your Nurses/Doctors
If you ask for something that you need right away to help you as you go, don’t be afraid to ask again or remind doctors and nurses if they don’t get it right away. Be understanding that they do have multiple people to take care of, but often, the focus shifts to you as you get closer and closer to delivering, so make sure you’re as comfortable as you can be and your birthing process goes how you want it to.
We really had to assert ourselves this time because we had a great delivery and everything went relatively smoothly; no complications, no real concerns; no problems. But, there were a lot of issues going on with other people at the same time that the nurses and doctors had to pay attention to, including more than one emergency situation. So we were very understanding that they weren’t able to constantly be with us, but after experiencing whatever else they were dealing with, they may need reminded that you also needed something. Trust me, they want to do a good job with all of their patients and gentle, polite reminders are welcome.
Don’t Forget, You Are In Charge
Obviously, the doctors and nurses know what’s best for you and your baby, but don’t be afraid to challenge their decisions and ask lots of questions. Always be respectful, and mindful of the fact that if they react poorly, they may feel like you’re questioning their decisions, but at the end of the day, it’s your body and your baby. Ultimately, the decisions that are made are altering your life and the life of your newborn. You are in charge and you can make whatever decisions you want.
This is why I recommend finding a place to deliver your baby that is in line with your views and beliefs so they won’t challenge your decisions or wishes. For example, if you have a more holistic approach to life and like to minimize drugs, and use natural products on your baby, let the staff know and as long as your wishes are ok for baby, they will respect them. Don’t feel like you have to consent to everything and do whatever they tell you just because they have a degree.
They are required to have you sign a consent for treatment BECAUSE you have the option to say no. I would recommend doing your research ahead of time on everything from epidurals, to vaccines, to breastfeeding/bottle feeding and make your decisions ahead of time. Not only will this give you more confidence in making your decisions, but it will make you feel better about the decisions you are making when you’re exhausted and everything is a blur. You can even call the hospital ahead ask them what kinds of things you’ll be asked when you’re there so you can better prepare.
Good Luck!
If you’re thinking about become pregnant, are mid-pregnancy or are counting down the last few days until delivery, these topics are some of the most important ways you can prepare for baby. They are the ones that affect his or her life and health the most. So, be prepared, don’t be afraid to take charge, and do what you need to do to have the best birthing experience possible. It’s your life and don’t forget it!