You did it! You made it through pregnancy and birth and now you have your beautiful little baby to enjoy all day, everyday and everything should be great now, right?……
But what if it’s not? What if you feel like you’re on more of an emotional roller coaster now than when you were pregnant. What if you feel more sad and overwhelmed when you look at your beautiful little baby? What if you just feel like you can’t keep up with it all.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
Whoever thinks that the hard part is over once you go through delivery, is sadly mistaken. Honestly, I’ve often thought that pregnancy and delivery were some of the easiest parts. (Obviously delivery is no cake walk, but at least it only lasts a few hours–or a few days–and then it’s over).
For me, the most challenging part of having a new baby is learning how to provide for this new bundle of joy amidst your already busy life. Adjusting to a new little one whether it’s your first child or your third can be difficult. And if you’re anything like me, it can be a very hard to slow down a little and let your body adjust.
Even if you don’t experience postpartum depression, you can still have bad days, you can still have hard days, and you can still have overwhelming days.
AND THAT’S COMPLETELY NORMAL
In fact, it would probably be abnormal if you didn’t experience any days like these. Learning how to deal with them is the key and part of that is understanding what exactly is going on so you can work from the source of the issue.
You’re Tired!
One of the biggest reasons new mothers feel overwhelmed is because they are dealing with a ton of changes and adjustments on little to no sleep. And if you’ve ever gone without sleep or pulled an all-nighter, you can understand the struggle. But for new moms, they don’t get the next day to recover. They have to pull all-nighters every night sometimes and that can really mess with your sanity.
Even if you get lucky and your baby sleeps through the night at an early age, if you’re breastfeeding, you still have to wake up to pump to make sure your supply stays strong.
So what do you do?
Unfortunately, this one is probably the hardest one to overcome because there’s no way around having to feed your baby or pump every so many hours. Although, there are a few things that can help you get at least a little more of the rest you need.
- Sleep when baby sleeps – For me, this one is easier said than done. Sure, during the first few weeks or months, you have time to sit with baby, take naps, etc. But once you’re past those first few weeks, for me, those little naps that baby takes are opportunities to get stuff done, like working out, showering, hair and makeup, things that make me feel more normal again. As much as you want to get other things done, it’s important to set aside time to nap if you need to. After a few days, this sleep deprivation can really catch up to you so even if you don’t normally want to nap, make time to do it if you really need to.
- Space out your productivity – If you’re like me and just have to get stuff done, try spacing out your productive days. For example, have two productive days in a row where you get everything you want to done while baby sleeps, and then on the third day, sleep in and take naps. Give your body a break and allow it the time to catch up on your rest and relaxation. Can’t sleep? Then do something that makes you happy. Workout, do your favorite hobby, paint your nails, whatever makes you feel good. That way, even if you’re not resting, your giving your body a positive boost it needs.
- Get some help from Dad – If you don’t have to pump in the middle of the night but baby wakes up, dad can help share the load and feed baby from a bottle so you can get some sleep. Even if you have to be the one to feed them, dad can get up with you and bring the baby to you, and help change their diaper before or after their feeding, leaving you more time than you would’ve had to sleep. Having someone else up with you in the middle of the night can also help you mentally, just because you don’t feel like you’re in it alone.
You’re Stuck In A Rut
Another one of the hardest things for new mothers to adjust to is the fact that your days now revolve around feeding, burping, and changing dirty diapers. Especially during the first few weeks when baby is on an every 2-3 hour eating schedule, it can easily feel like that’s all you do. When you go from taking care of your house, spending time with friends and even having time to get yourself ready every morning to not having time for any of that, it can be really frustrating.
The tricky part about this one is that you don’t really have an option to get out of it. Aside from just getting more help from others, you’re still going to have to feed, burp, and change your baby’s dirty diapers. But, there are ways to make this process feel less overwhelming and feel a little more like yourself.
- Get help from others – Yes, dad can help out a lot in this department, but if you have other children or your significant other works long hours or works away, you could be essentially on your own. Getting help from friends and family members who aren’t living with you and don’t have to experience the sleeplessness that is new parenthood, is a great option when you just need a little “me time.” The best part about this is that grandma (or whoever helps out) isn’t sleep deprived, so your baby or other children are getting more attention than you can give them right now because you’re just too exhausted or just need some time for yourself.
- Get in a routine – Once your baby is a few weeks old, you can start to try working your days around a schedule. If you can get baby on a routine, you can maximize your time for other things. For example, if you feed baby at 8am and know that by 8:30am or 9am, they will be sound asleep, you can plan to shower and get yourself ready for the day then. At the next nap time maybe you can clean your house, etc. The point is that once you know when they’re going to be hungry and when you’re going to have to be mom, you know when you can do other things. Sometimes just knowing that you will get a chance to do whatever you need to makes the being mom part easier.
- Get out of the house – The best way to avoid getting stuck in a rut is to get out of the house and go do something for you. Get your hair/nails done, go out for a girl’s night, or just go out to a nice dinner with your hubby. Whatever you can do to make yourself a priority for a few hours a week will be well worth it to help maintain your sanity. And don’t feel like you’re being selfish! Feeling your best will help make you the best mom you can be. It’s like a time investment to make you more energized and restored once you get back to your babies.
You’re Hormonal!
Did you think the hormonal swings would end once you had your baby? HA! Buckle up baby because you’ll still be on that hormonal roller coaster for a few months, even more if you are breastfeeding. Hormones are one of the biggest reasons moms feel anxious, depressed, stressed and not like themselves after having a baby.
Regardless of whether or not you are breastfeeding, your body just did an amazing thing and produced life. It’s going to take a little time to get back to normal. But if you are breastfeeding, it may take a little longer to get your hormones under control.
Prolactin and Oxytocin
Prolactin and oxytocin are the breastfeeding hormones. They help your body produce and release milk and when they are present, a lot of other things are hampered. They reduce your levels of estrogen and testosterone, both of which can completely throw you off and make you feel like basically doing nothing and crying about it.
While you may not be able to avoid the hormonal swings altogether, there are a few things you can do to help.
- Exercise – Exercise is one of the best ways to reduce stress and anxiety and regulate your hormones. Get out of the house and get some fresh air if you can and you’ll feel better, guaranteed!
- Nutrition – Balancing your diet is a great way to balance your hormones. Increasing your protein intake and reducing your carbohydrate intake goes a lot way in avoiding the energy highs and lows. Healthy, natural food can also help your hormone levels be more consistent and help you feel better overall.
- Sleep – I know, I know, these three things that will help regulate your hormones are the hardest to do with a new baby. It’s no wonder your hormones are out of whack in the first place! But time dedicated to these three things will definitely go a long way in helping you feel better.
If you’re struggling with any of these things, remember, this time in your life is just that…it’s a phase. It will pass. Try to focus on what’s important and enjoy your little one at this stage as much as you can, because before you know it, it will be gone. And as much as you may not think so at this point, there will come a day when you miss these times and you wish you could just sit and stare at your newborn just a little longer.
If you feel like you are experiencing more than just the typical “baby blues,” you are not alone. It is extremely common and there is help out there. Talk to your doctor about postpartum depression and get help. There’s no shame in doing what’s best for you and your baby.
You can get through these tough weeks and there will be a day when you sleep again. You can do it mama! Hopefully these tips help and if you have any of your own, make sure to leave them in the comments!